


J.B. Barnes' Guide to the Marvel Cinematic Universe

by hedy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Team Bonding, The Winter Soldier:Agent of S.H.I.L.E.D.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2601782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedy/pseuds/hedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaning back on the kitchen table, Bucky sighed and threaded his hand though his hair, “I don’t think calling Steve is what I can handle now. Got plenty of things to do before that, right, Coulson?”</p><p>Coulson nodded. Giving them her most unbelieving stare, Skye grabbed a fork and took a big bite on the pancakes Bucky just moved to the dinning table—it actually tastes good. She eyed them once again, jabbed the fork in Bucky’s direction: “Don’t try to kill any of us.”</p><p>“You would be dead by now if I wanted to.”</p><p>She hates how he is right.</p><p>-</p><p>A story about how James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier, joined SHIELD (again), made friends, acted like the idiot he is, and saved the world fighting side-by-side with Captain America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	J.B. Barnes' Guide to the Marvel Cinematic Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is what I have been thinking about since the second season of AOS. I figured that there wouldn't be enough time to talk about Bucky Barnes recovering in the third movie alone, so I came up with...whatever this is.
> 
> Still hoping that Sebastian could join the cast of Agents of SHIELD tho, so I'm putting the canon-divergence tag here.
> 
> As usual, the characters belong to their respective owners. This fic is unbeta-ed and English is not my first language, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy. :)

The moment he turned the handle to his office's door, Coulson knew something was wrong. The coat he left over the sofa was hung properly by the door, the scrap paper he left on his desk was missing, together with his favorite Grump Cat mug, obliviously all because of the man currently sitting in his chair, facing the wall yet no doubt clear of his actions.

"Who are you," Coulson asked, trying not to startle the stranger--an impressive intruder who managed to find this place-- as he moved closer, closing the door behind him and drawing out his gun, "and what do you want?"

"A place on your team." The man replied, sounding more hoarse and less threatening than Coulson originally anticipated. He frowned.

"SHIELD’s no charity."

The man turned, blue eyes looking straight at Coulson, holding the mug in his hands. He's wearing a navy blue hoodie, two size bigger and hanging lose on his shoulders, shreds of dark hair falling into his eyes, curling at the end and too long for Coulson's old-fashioned approval of hairstyles. "Never thought about that," his lips lifted slightly, gloved left hand coming up to brush away the hair," you'll need everyone you can get, director Coulson."

"Why should I trust you?" Coulson thinks he knew this man from somewhere, maybe he was one of SHIELD before, or maybe he just happened to have met him on a coffee run—it's frustrating that this guy looks too random for him to actually remember. 

"You shouldn't. " The man replied, still smiling a little but meant none of it, and part of Coulson screams at him to activate the alarm and get the stranger out of his office. "And I don't trust SHIELD either."

"Give me a reason to let you on my team."

"I found this place, got into your office without anyone noticing," the man stood up, walked over and pressed the warm mug into Coulson's hand with a clink," and I make good coffee."

With the tiny noise that would go unnoticed by anyone untrained, everything kicked in for Coulson. This face, he has seen it on video feeds multiple times, covered with a dark mask, eyes smuggled with black paint, emotionless; the movements, careful and planned, body held tight and ready, he should have noticed earlier that the man is trained, probably by the best; and that noise, metal against porcelain, just proved his guess—at least that explained how he managed to got pass May and Barbara at the same time.

"The Winter Soldier." Coulson tried and failed to hold back the little squeal in his next words, "Bucky Barnes."

The man—Bucky–nodded, grimacing a little at the name but said nothing. Coulson's inner ten-year-old is screaming and doing flips, but the grown man managed to keep it straight. 

"Why?" You could—probably should—join the Avengers, he did not say.

"I want nice pillows and decent steak, you need actual coffee." Bucky moved to the door, his back facing Coulson, muscles tense. He looked back over his shoulder, just a small glance, flick of a second, but Coulson caught it: careful, worried and lost, pleading, nothing that belongs to a ruthless killer. Coulson couldn’t help but feel sorry for this guy, and angrier with Hydra than he already was.

"You're in."

Coulson could've sworn he saw Bucky let out a small shaky breath of relieve—it appears he wasn't as confident as he pretended to be—and actually smiled. "Thank you sir. Oh, and consider that my résumé."

After he left, Coulson allows himself to grin stupidly for a whole minute, because come on, that's Bucky Barnes, Captain America's best friend and one of the best snipers know in WWII and a rumored assassin who could handle a small army on his own, before he noticed the map lying on his desk Bucky was talking about, marked carefully of all the Hydra bases he already knew and more that he missed out completely. 

They are so going to win this war.

-

Surprising everyone else, it was Skye who found out about Bucky first, walking on him flipping pancakes at 4:23 in the morning.

“Uh,” she started, not wanting to get on the bad side of the guy who has a P226 placed beside the bowl of pancake mix, “isn’t it a bit early for breakfast?”

“Can’t sleep, figured I’d do the team some good.”

Skye blinked. “So…you are a new guy on the team? Coulson hadn’t mentioned you, what’s your name?”

Before Bucky could reply, Coulson walked into the kitchen, a little shocked to find Skye standing there and watching him. “Morning,” he said, “I see you’re up early, Skye.”

She rolled her eyes, unimpressed at the fact that Coulson stayed up again. “Care to introduce the new guy?”

To her surprise, Coulson actually thought about it, eyeing the pancake maker carefully before letting out a sigh. “It’s complicated. In short: Skye, met the Winter Soldier.”

“The Winter Soldier,” Her brain took longer than expected to process the information—it’s four in the morning, too early for this kind of stuff—before her eyes widen completely. “Wait, The Winter Soldier? The mythic assassin who almost killed Captain America? James Buchanan Barnes?!”

“I go by Bucky, actually,” Bucky supplied from where he stood by the stove, steadily laying one more of the perfectly made pancakes onto the pile before turning off the gas and walked over, extending his right hand, “You must be Skye.”

“You were keeping the Winter Soldier on board and you decided not to tell any of us?” Skye was still petty much shocked at the fact that she just witnessed perhaps the most dangerous man on earth made a large stack of nice-smelling pancakes, so Bucky just shrugged and stuffed his hand back into his pocket. “Shouldn’t you be calling the Avengers or Cap now? Last I heard, he has gone a great length to find him.”

Leaning back on the kitchen table, Bucky sighed and threaded his hand though his hair, “I don’t think calling Steve is what I can handle now. Got plenty of things to do before that, right, Coulson?”

Coulson nodded. Giving them her most unbelieving stare, Skye grabbed a fork and took a big bite on the pancakes Bucky just moved to the dinning table—it actually tastes good. She eyed them once again, jabbed the fork in Bucky’s direction: “Don’t try to kill any of us.”

“You would be dead by now if I wanted to.”

She hates how he is right.

-

The Winter Soldier, now known to everyone as James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, was officially introduced to the team during breakfast the next morning, with nice sweet pancakes and real coffee.

Barbara liked him almost immediately, with Simmons following close (Simmons likes everyone), Tripp was excited to have someone to talk about the forties and hear stories of the Howling Commandos told by a Howler himself, May claimed she needed someone to train with, and Fitz said nothing but “Hi”. Skye still doubted him a little but decided to let it go, not only because Coulson has been smiling the whole time, which is rare for him these days after the original SHIELD has fallen. 

“Probably the best field agent you will get, first-hand intel provider, ” Bucky grinned, “and breakfast savior.”

“Hydra’s best fist against themselves, they don’t even stand a chance. ”He said cheerfully. Skye wondered how much of that was real.

-

“Hi,” Bucky greeted as he strolled down to the basement and stood beside Fitz, folding his arms just like him, “how are you feeling?”

“Oh, hi. Feeling okay,” he started after a slightly surprised pause, then stopped himself abruptly, “I am, you know, with the, uh…”

“With your head, yeah, I know how that feels,” Bucky didn’t look at him, instead stared emptily at the garage in front of them, “it’s weird, having people, mostly yourself, talking to you in your head but you don’t know what the hell they are talking about. And you cannot tell anyone about it, either you just can’t or you feel like you shouldn’t.”

Fitz turned to look at him, shoulders dropped a little when he saw the expressions on Bucky’s face. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“It’s ok, you know,” he started again, this time seemed to have zoned out a little, eyes focusing on things Fitz cannot see, “to be different. To be a different person but still being treated as the same person you were before? It’s frustrating, but you’ll get over it. They are just trying to help.”

Fitz wondered if this is Bucky’s problem as well. To be different. To be treated differently (a hero as a criminal, a traitor), or worse, to be treated the same way (you’re my friend, Bucky). He never knew the old Bucky Barnes, only read about him and Captain America in history books and watched movies based on them, never gotten the chance to know this guy outside wars and deaths, and he suddenly finds himself wanting to do so. Fitz masters mechanics better than anyone on board the Bus, and he knows that the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, is like none of them despite what others say. 

“Yes,” he answered, a bit too late, but Bucky didn’t seem to have noticed—he might not be expecting a respond at all—“it’s ok.”

He has to say it, he feels like it’s his responsibility to do so, so he said, struggling a little before speaking but managed the whole sentence: “You know he’s just trying to help.”

Bucky gave him a look that hurts, too much, but Fitz held his. Eventually the former let out a breath and slumped against the wall. 

“You’re most likely right,” he said, closing his eyes, then after a beat, “Can I stay for a while?”

-

During most of the nights there will be someone who could not sleep, thanks to nightmares and terrible flashbacks, so when the screaming started, no one took it as a big deal.

“You okay?” May asked from her place on the couch, a blanket pooling around her waist and a mug in her hand. Bucky shook his head, absent-mindedly grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed half of it in a few gulps.

“Nightmares,” he rasped, voice still hoarse from the earlier screaming but he looked more like himself now, “every damn time.” May simply nodded, not wanting to push the topic. After a few minutes of complete silence, Bucky spook again: “Are you…?”

“Same,” she shifted a little to look him better in the eye, “you’ll get used to it.”

“Wouldn’t be that difficult,” Bucky grumbled as he sat down in one of the sofas and folded into himself. With his head kept low and hair dangling beside his chin, the terrifying assassin looked some how vulnerable.

“I read stories about you in primary school, when I still couldn’t speak English properly,” Bucky’s head snapped up at her voice, only to find May talking to the muted TV set, “my friends talked about Cap a lot, but I liked Bucky. I wanted to be someone like him, a Howler, not some colorful hero.”

Bucky let out a small huff: “Steve would be amused.”

“Bet he would be,” May answered with a similar expression, “I joined SHIELD, trained hard, pushed myself to limits, and now here I am.”

“You’ve done good. I’ve heard of you.”

“From the files you stole from Coulson’s office?”

Bucky smiled sheepishly: “You are as creepy as Natalia.”

May actually raised an eyebrow at that: “Thanks.”

“No seriously, I’ve heard of the Calvary,” Bucky rested himself on his elbows and leaned forward, “it was hard, isn’t it? But we have to do it.”

There was an awkward moment of silence, then May shook her head: “I know that.”

“Just to be sure.” 

She fixed him with her eyes, studying his expressions, his tiny gestures, anything that would give him anyway, but she saw nothing. Either he was even better than Natasha, which she highly doubted is the case, or she is facing a completely sincere man with no intention of humiliating her. A man who has probably gone through similar hell and returned, hurt and broken yet still fighting. Some one just like her. 

“You should get some rest,” she said instead, “Coulson needs us to check out a Hydra base at ten hundred.”

-

It’s both easier and harder this way, with a human war machine on the team whenever they are clearing out Hydra bases. The Winter Soldier is everything the rumors said, ruthless, efficient, non-stopping, tearing down walls and labs, killing anyone in a Hydra uniform along his way, destroying any machines that seems to have personally offended him (perhaps they have), his metal arm making swirling noises that goes unnoticed in the chaos. Skye has said something about teamwork and not getting himself killed, while Bobbi just watched with fascination.

“That was pretty intense back there,” Triplett said once they got back onto the Bus. The team has took down yet another hydra factory, a heavily guarded weapon storage this time, and most of the agents had been slightly wounded—Hunter sworn he has seen Bucky took a bullet in the leg, but the other acted like nothing has happened—“at this rate we’ll be finishing the job before we even knew!”

May has went to Coulson for debrief, and Hunter noticed that Bucky has been left the common area totally unnoticed to the rest of the team. He wasn’t so sure about having an infamous killer riding high on adrenaline wondering around the house, so he decided to check on him.

Poking his head into Bucky’s suite, he was met with an icy glaze from the Winter Soldier, who was sitting on the bed and bandaging himself. Suddenly felling like the intruder he was, Hunter took a tiny step back. “You okay there, dude? Need any help?”

“People gotta stop asking me this every time,” Bucky groaned, throwing the bandage he has been using onto the bed, “No thanks.”

“So, um, you did get shot…?”

“I heal fast.” Closing the first-aid kit and shoving it beneath his bed, Bucky moved to face Hunter properly. “I fine, really. Still angry, but I’ll be okay.”

“That sounded like me breaking up with my ex-wife.”

“Oh no,” letting out a strangled laughter, Bucky shook his head, “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to know about that.”

“Life’s short, you shouldn’t dwell on your miserable past for too long. The second week after we broke up, I found a blond girl…”

“You know what, I think Barbara’s right for dumping you.”

Glancing at Bucky, who has now made himself comfy on the bed, Hunter rolled his eyes: “None of you are on my side. I’m quitting. Don’t you have anyone who’s getting on your nerves every single day?”

“I do,” Bucky admitted, much to Hunter’s surprise, “kept me busy by being a totally jerk.”

Hunter opened his mouth, then closed it, not wanting to know about the details in case—because life’s a bitch—he knew this person as well. Instead he settles for smacking Bucky in the shin were he has been injured, earning a pained yelp from the Winter Soldier. He counts that as a win.

“Quit being sulky, old man. Let’s go and get some real fun tonight.”

-

“No, no.” Bucky threw his arms up in frustration under Coulson’s questioning look. “I can’t do this.”

“It’s no big deal, we get in, grab the alien serum before Hydra does, leave before anyone else notices and give it to the Avengers for further studies.”

“You don’t understand, it’s…”

“Is this about Captain Rogers, then?”

Bucky’s eyes shot up at the name, meeting Coulson’s in the air, and he looked away just as quickly, not wanting to feel more exposed than he already was. “If you state it that way.”

Coulson sighed. He had wanted to help, really, he did, and not just because he may or may not have shipped the Captain with his best friend turned right-hand man sometime during his younger years. They were friends anyway, and friends don’t just hide from each other forever, no matter what has happened. So he thought it’ll be a good idea to get Steve Rogers and James Barnes to met again when they are actually working for the same reason and on the same side. Turns out Bucky wouldn’t think so.

“You know you’ll have to face him one day.”

“Not if I die before that.” Bucky answered dryly, avoiding Coulson’s stare for all means.

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Coulson gave up. “Nice try, Barnes. I’ll let you get away with it this time, but you can’t hide forever.” Bucky made no attempt at answering, so Coulson carried on, “and you owe me.”

“What?”

Coulson grinned. “Captain America’s autograph.”

After an awkwardly long silence, Bucky gave in. “Fine,” he grumbled, “but give me some time. You know how busy he could be.”

“I’m counting on that.”

-

Barbara Morse is a nice partner, Bucky had decided on his second mission with her. She doesn’t talk too much, but isn’t boring either, and she has the strong attitude that Bucky always appreciated in dames.

The mission was to go undercover, sneaking into such rich party to gather information on Hydra’s latest moves without the military officer noticing them. They are the best qualified pair, since Coulson and May have had their cover blown several times and Skye preferred to stay behind the screens. 

It should be easy. At least Bucky thought so before he was pretty much forced into an awkward conversation about wine and fashion with the organizer, which Barbara has decided was fun to watch from the side.

“With that nice body of yours, Marc,” the man babbled on, gesturing Bucky from shoulder to toe, “I think you should be modeling for my newest designed suit.”

“Uh, thanks?” So this man is a designer, Bucky thought, and a creep.

“I say you come by my place sometime and try it out, what do you think, kid?”

“I would love to,” Bucky tried, not wanting to draw attention before Barbara got the information they need by breaking the man’s neck, and seriously, who is he calling kid? “But, uh, I’m not into modeling. Sorry.”

The man laughed and patted Bucky on the shoulder, who tensed at the contact. “There are other things we could do. It’ll be fun.”

No. No it won’t.

Just as he was about to break and cause some serious damage, Barbara sent him a triple tap through the comm, which is what they had established as “mission fulfilled, get out without killing anyone”. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief as he quickly untangled himself from the man’s touch. “I bet it will. I’ll see you around, Mister.”

“Not into modeling, huh,” Barbara smirked at him on their way back, “too bad.”

“People are a lot more open than I thought these days.”

“It’s not illegal anymore, being queer.”

“Still inappropriate.” Bucky rested his forehead against the windshield, “and embarrassing.” 

“You are attractive.” 

“And you are terrible.” Barbara laughed as she ducked the strawberry that Bucky threw at her, narrowly missing the tree by the sidewalk.

-

Even before he joined the team, Bucky knew they had Grant Ward kept in a basement cell. Although he has never met this man in person during his days at Hydra, Bucky is willing to bet that every Hydra member has at least heard rumors regarding the Winter Soldier, their best asset.

“It’s good to see you again, Skye—” 

If you ask him, Bucky would admit it was indeed hilarious to see a six-foot-something man’s facial expression changed that fast from easy and flirty to scared like a deer in headlight. All it took was a glance at his left arm.

“So I take it as you know me, Agent Ward.”

“What. I…No, you’re not real…”

“That’s rude,” Bucky pouted, getting a surprised huff from Skye, “I’m hurt. He’s all yours now.”

Skye took on to question Ward about what they needed to know for the next mission. Turns out the higher-ups only gave their best asset the most important information, which, sadly, is why they are still keeping Ward as an informant for the more specific details. During the whole process Bucky stayed silence, eyes never leaving Ward, who seemed to be very much affected by his mere present.

“Think that’s all I need,” Skye closed her tablet after a few minutes and turned to Bucky, “Should I leave you guys alone?”

He raised his eyebrows at her words but said nothing, instead slipped out one of his favorite knives that he always kept closely and walked passed her to face Ward.

“You have the highest combat score on SHIELD’s trainers since Natalia, I heard.”

Ward nodded, not daring to speak another word, still earth-shocked at the fact that not only did Hydra’s rumored perfect weapon actually existed, but is also standing in front of him, carelessly cleaning a blade that could easily kill anyone in the room, and, most of all, as a SHIELD agent.

“We could train together someday,” Bucky said, pointing the knife in Ward’s direction, his face kept calm and professional, “Yeah, we probably should. Keep working out in there, son.” With that he turned on his heels and headed out of the basement.

“You heard the man,” Skye said, shrugging as she followed Bucky out.

They can’t help but burst into giggles once they were outside the room, scaring Hunter in the process as he refused to believe that the Winter Soldier could let out such unmanly noises.

Coulson pretends not to be impressed.

-

“…idiot.”

“…any minute.”

“…suits him well.”

“Ugh,” Bucky groaned as he opened his eyes, only to close it again due to the strong light in the room, his whole body was aching and his head felt dizzy. He slowly took in the people around him, Skye sitting on a chair beside him complaining, Simmons looking worried at the end of the bed, Triplett and Fitz hovering near the door, and May talking on the line, probably to Coulson. “How long have I been out?”

“Long enough,” Skye turned to check the watch on the wall, which Bucky finally recognized is the watch in the medics back on the Bus, “Forty hours. What the hell, Barnes?” 

“Uh, what?”

“You almost got yourself killed, what were you thinking? ”

Right. That.

Bucky winced, kept his eyes shut as he tried to focus on the details before he blacked out. They were fighting Hydra, as usual, and there was some muscular guy wearing a skeleton mask that came out of nowhere and started attacking. He remembered tackling the man to the ground and defeating him, but still a friction of a second too late to stop him from throwing a grenade in the team’s direction. So he leaped and blocked it just in time with his body. Which was probably why he is stuck in bed now with his angry and worried teammates around.

“Sorry.”

“You’d better be. We were worried sick.” Coulson’s voice came from outside the door, and Bucky struggled to sit up a bit, “Don’t move. You need to rest. The attacker—”

“He seemed familiar.”

“About that.” Coulson stopped for a second, eyes locking with Bucky’s before he continued, “We believed it was Brock Rumlow, now known as the Crossbones.”

Bucky’s breath hitched, remembering all the times he spent screaming on the chair while that bastard watched. “Shit. He’s not dead?”

“He got away. I’ve sent men after his case, though.”

“Be careful. He’s…unpredictable.”

“I will.” Coulson smiled a little, waving the files in his hands, “Got stuff to do. I’ll see you around, Bucky.”

Too sore to lift his hand and wave Coulson a proper goodbye, Bucky settled for nodding in his direction. Turning his attention back to Skye, who is watching him carefully by the bedside, Bucky gave her a sheepish grin.

“You don’t stop explosives with your own body, super-soldier or not.”

“It’s not that bad,” he shifted uneasily in bed, “at least no one else got hurt.”

“Still.”

“She’s got a point here,” Triplett supplied from his place by the door, “’s not the first time you took suicidal actions.”

Grimacing, Bucky dropped his head completely back into his pillow. “I know.”

-

Staying in bed has never been Bucky’s favorite activity. Back in his Brooklyn days, young Bucky Barnes seldom gets sick enough to be forced to stay in bed, but whenever he does, he’s always bitching about it, which, of course, leaves a certain Steven Rogers worrying the hell out of him. 

So when he is left alone in bed with nothing to do, Bucky felt out of place.

Everyone’s got work to do. Skye and May are doing their daily training, Hunter probably went gathering intel with his own ways, Fitz and Simmons are most likely doing researches that he will never understand down in the labs, and Coulson, well, he wouldn’t want Coulson beside him any way.

“Hey.”

Bucky looked up from the tablet that he has been staring absent-mindedly for at least ten minutes to find Triplett by the door, carrying an old leather suitcase in one hand. “Hey,” he answered, putting away the device and sat up straighter, “What’s up?”

“I see you could use some company.”

Bucky smiled a little at that, realizing how soft he must have gone since joining the team, considering the fact that none of his teammates could stand being in the same room with him during the first few weeks. “Right. Old man dying of loneliness in here.”

“Funny.” Triplett let himself in and settled the suitcase down on the table beside Bucky with a thump.

“What’s in there?”

Triplett grinned. Opening the case, Bucky found himself facing objects he thought was lost seventy years ago. 

“No way.” He couldn’t keep his face under control as much as he tried, Bucky picked up the small pin and held it between his fingers to examine it carefully. “Is it still working?”

“Like new. Ask Coulson.”

“He must have been thrilled to death,” Bucky snickered, rubbing the small Captain-America’s-shield designed communication device, trying to remember how it had felt pinned on his uniform collar, “What, everyone knows Coulson’s crush on Cap.”

“Even Cap?”

“No, not him. Guy’s too stubborn to notice anyone falling for him.” Bucky scowled, putting the pin down and picked up the small EMP device. “An army couldn’t save him.” 

“My grandpa said so too.”

“How was he?”

“Had a full life, a grumpy old man in the last years, but he did alright.”

“Wish I could’ve seen him that way.”

“He watched you fell,” Triplett fiddled with the leather buckle of the suitcase, “said it haunted him for years.”

“Must be terrible. Sorry.”

“Bucky.” Bucky looked up, he hadn’t noticed he has been avoiding visual contact for the past few minutes. Triplett looked serious, and it reminded Bucky of the days when he and the Commandos were hunched over a small table, looking over mission plans, planning on winning the war. “You are his brother in arms, a friend to every one of us in the family. We are more than happy just to see you here.”

He could say nothing to that. So Bucky nodded, trusting Triplett to understand that he is thankful for what he has said.

“You know what,” It was Triplett who broke the silence again, “You should probably keep these stuff. Knows how to use them better than me.”

Bucky shook his head, closed the box carefully and handed it back to Triplett. “Memories are best where they belong. Plus, I’m too old for these toys.”

-

“Before I came to you, I went after Fury in Europe. Turns out he’s still sore about the bullets I hit him with.”

“I figured.”

“I asked for a place. He told me to ‘go join SHIELD’.”

“And you did.”

“Yes. Look, I didn’t trust any of you back then, I couldn’t. Not after spending a lifetime under an organization who used me like a weapon.”

“That was Hydra.”

“Were there any differences?”

He considered that. Will SHIELD treat someone like Barnes, broken, lost, yet useful, any better than what Hydra did? He decided not to push the issue too hard.

“Anyway, I didn’t have any trust for either you or your team.”

“So why did you come along?”

“As I said, I needed a place. And not just a place to live in, I need a place on a team where I could be useful, could do some good. If I’m lucky, getting to prove I’m not that much of a monster.”

“You’re not.”

“Thanks.”

“No, no. I’m serious, you’re not a monster, Bucky. Never was.”

“You ever heard the stories mothers tell their kids at night? The ones about the Winter Soldier killing naughty kids in their dreams?”

“That wasn’t you.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“If you were anything like that, you wouldn’t be here talking to me now.”

“I have five ways of killing you now.”

“Yet I’m alive. Admit it Barnes, you are more than you gave credit for.”

“I could still kill you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

No reply came. Coulson slumped into his chair and closed his eyes, certain that Bucky has already left his office. They are going to be in a big fight tomorrow, alongside with the Avengers, against some crazy robots that were meant to be protecting the human race. 

It’s funny, he thinks, that sometimes people believe machines could take over the things human died for. Sure, he enjoyed the simplicity of modern weaponry, but he also knows how import it is to give the deadly weapons into the hands of the right men. Men that will be haunted because of what he did, but also men who are willing to take it up to themselves to protect the others. Heroes. 

“Thanks, for everything”

“0600, don’t be late.”

-

Coulson was not surprised at the fact that Captain America knew he was alive—Cap was a level 8 SHIELD agent after all—but he sure is when his childhood idol addressed him by his name.

“Good to see you in battle again, Director Coulson,” Steve whipped his shield around, crushing a robot in the way, “Need some backup here.”

“Got you covered.”

Steve turned in complete surprise at the voice, at the same time another Ultron dropped down from the bullet in its control panel. He stared, searching for the source of the voice, hoping it’s not some magic messing with his brain again.

“I said I got you covered,” there it is again, clearer, and more like Steve had remembered, “Not you could stop fighting, Cap.”

“Bucky.”

“Agent Barnes,” Bucky breathed, felt even lighter as he pulled the trigger again, taking down another enemy trying to sneak up on Steve, “of Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

“Wow. So you didn’t fell asleep in class this time?”

“Shut up, Rogers.”

They fell into silence after that. It’s a nice route, fighting together, watching each other’s back, something they had been doing since Bucky first picked skinny Rogers up in one of the back alleys of old Brooklyn, or the first time Captain America torn through an enemy factory searching for his best friend.

It’s easy, Bucky realized, easier than running away, easier than denying that he is a hero, easier than pretending he is alone.

“Steve.”

“Yes, Bucky?” His name felt right, he knew it would, it’s always where he belonged. 

“I need Captain America’s autograph.”

Steve’s chuckle sent sparks down his spines. Bucky never knew that after so many years of living and dying and living again, he could still do that to him. “We’ll take care of that later.”

Captain America signed every single trading card Coulson owns.

-

Lance Hunter refused to look Bucky in the eye once Steve showed up as his ex and present boyfriend. Barbara laughed in his face, everyone else just smiled like they had known this for a lifetime. 

(They did. Everyone grew up with Captain America and Bucky’s stories.)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are very much welcomed! Please talk to me if you have anything you would like to see under this setting!


End file.
